Cooksey Returning to 2019 Gulf Coast Symposium on HR Issues

Register today to attend the HR Gulf Coast Symposium on HR Issues, brought to you by HR Houston: CLICK HERE

Join Cooksey at the live session:
May. 15, 2019 | 3:45 pm – 4:45 pm
Track(s): Business Management & Strategy

On May 15, 2019, Scott Cooksey, Sr Consultant with CookseyConnects, returns to Houston to deliver his sought-after program: Powering Your Team through The Peloton of Change Management Techniques. 

Organizations standing the test of time must constantly evolve. Navigating the change management techniques to drive change while maintaining high engagement at all levels requires commitment, coordination, and communication. This program provides participants illustrative examples, tools, and techniques designed to promote a healthy Change CADENCE™ to unleash individual potential and maximize team performance while protecting momentum.

Whether your perspective is as senior leader or individual contributor impacted by change in your organization, constant shifting of priorities and focus can wear down a team, often eroding engagement of employees.

Participants of this session will walk away with tactical tools, techniques and easy-to-implement strategies adapted from the world of professional cycling. It will leave you realizing that change management truly can be “easy as riding a bicycle”! Best of all, you will learn that there is truly more than only one way to win, when it comes to driving a results using the Change CADENCE™ system.

Register today to attend the HR Gulf Coast Symposium on HR Issues, brought to you by HR Houston: CLICK HERE

Join Cooksey at the live session:
May. 15, 2019 | 3:45 pm – 4:45 pm
Track(s): Business Management & Strategy

The ONE SKILL Every Leader MUST Possess!


I traveled the world and worked with leaders from over 1,037 different organizations to find the ONE SKILL every leader must possess.  I captured 77 distinct ways YOU can implement that skill EVERY DAY and put it all into one pint-sized, power-packed book that fits in almost any pocket.  Here’s more:


How to Beat Your Goals Every Time

Set goals.  Make resolutions.  Change.  Do something different.  Each of these concepts have a common thread.  They are all about altering behavior and establishing expecations.  Remember, I don’t think goal setting works (well, sort of…read here).


Recently, the following quote was shared with me, and it sparked a conversation which got me thinking.

@LeadershipBEST: The best way to see Faith is to shut the eye of Reason ~ Benjamin Franklin

conversationWhen I read this, I immediately honed in on the aspect of the words “Faith” and “Reason” were both capitalized. My perception of the quote was that having faith (from a spiritual perspective) was exclusive of being able to apply reason when explaining the “un-explainable” or something one does not fully “understand”.  Dianne Reilly (@LeadershipBEST) and I had a pleasant exchange regarding the quote, and I learned her perspective of the quote was less about the religious aspect of faith and more about “acceptance” of topics that affected us in life in a more general sense. By being open-minded to her thoughts, I began to think about how the quote was truly relevant to us both, even while the implied meaning of the exact same grouping of words (the quote) appeared to mean something very different to each of us.  (Thanks again, Dianne, for the great back-and-forth!)


A few years ago, I was working on a customer-retention project for a client who was incorporating a newly purchased product line into his existing business structure as a new division.  The client and I agreed to a list of expectations, assigned various performance incentives to our contract, and set a course of action with a lofty goal of 95% customer retention.

After A Day Of TrainingThe challenge we encountered, however, became a flash point upon discovery that I had relied on the implied quality of data, regarding the list of existing customers.  Almost immediately, it became evident that there was a fair amount of missing data (phone numbers, addresses, and other customer specifics) which made it impossible to contact the customer (a metric we were relying on to trigger the performance bonuses).  In my mind, to gauge the success rate to which we’d agreed, the base number used in the calculation should be adjusted to remove 1) a small group of specific customers the owner asked I NOT contact- as he wanted to reach out them himself, and 2) customers with completely missing data that neither a postcard, email, nor phone call were possible for contacting.  Seems reasonable, right?  Well, the client disagreed with my assessment.  While we had agreed on the percentage, we were not explicit in discussing how to handle the poor data set in the calculation of that percentage.  Though we both sought success, a dispute over the calculation of success ultimately led to the early termination of the project, when the client refused to pay out the incentive for the achieved 95% goal, based on his view on how the ratio should have been calculated.


The term “goal” is often used as a substitute for “expectation” or “desired outcome”.  If you think about it, desired outcome is really somewhat subjective.  Have you ever heard of a boss, team leader, or company owner who was upset when a “goal” was exceeded by 50%?  How about when a boss consistently demands “more”, but shouts disappointment when the sales team turns in a result $1 greater than last year.  They thought they hit the goal.  Often times the boss had something else in mind.   From the other side, what about the media reaction to a sports team who quite handily whips their opponent on the field?  The superior team wanted to win (the goal) but often find themselves blasted by critics for being unsportsmanlike.  Confused?  You should be. Expectations, however, should be clear. By both sides.  Every time.

How to Beat Your Goals Every Time

There are two simple ways to beat your goals every time:

Sandbag –

Set your goals too low.  Know what you are capable of (or worse, what you already know you will achieve) and set the bar right there.  Doing this creates an artificial feeling of accomplishment that likely fills a short term desire of feeling successful, yet rarely delivers the long-term satisfaction and success truly successful people seek.

Focus on Changing Behavior-

To continually and successfully blow away your goals (and I’m talking about those big time expectations you have), the key is to focus on changing your behavior.  Here’s what I mean:

Instead of setting an artificial goal:

  • “I will beat last years number.”, or
  • “I will lose 35 pounds this year”, or
  •  “Sell 20% more than last year”

Focus on activity-based goals, instead:

  • I will log my food intake daily, focusing on making healthy replacements in my diet.
  • Each week, I will meet face-to-face with two new contacts.
  • Attend one professional association meeting a month.  Already attend one regularly?  Commit to attending a second meeting each month, even if it rotates among several organizations.  Just get out there. (And stuff some business cards in your pocket, because you’re going to be looking for new people to meet up with in those one-on-one, face-to-face meetings!)
  • Commit to show up for work (even if you work from a home office or a local coffee shop) 15-minutes earlier each day.
  • Strive to work out (walk, bike, run, weight train, SOMETHING) 30 minutes a day, at least 4 days/week.

You get the idea, right?  By focusing on what you can DO (what you can control), you will achieve lofty goals beyond your wildest imagination (what you can influence by taking appropriate action).

So, let’s start a discussion below about one or more of the new activity-based goals you will be focusing on, starting right now!  Go ahead!



Why You Should Never Set Goals

Stop Setting Goals

If you have been in business for very long, then you most certainly have experienced the typical “next year, our goal is to do more!” Or, “this year, our goal will be $X million dollars in sales!” [A number seemingly pulled out of thin air, or worse…a number simply a percentage greater than last year’s total.]  This is precisely the reason you should never set goals.  Let me explain.

“More” is not a strategy!

There is no creativity in goal setting today.  Too often, what often gets construed as strategic planning, is not much more than wishful thinking.  In short, people are lazy.

insanity- Taking the same action over-and-over again, each time expecting a different result.

Unhappy with the fact that the company’s sales results were essentially flat for a number of years, a company president shared with me once that “he wanted more”.  Isn’t that exactly what conventional wisdom says a company president should say? In fact, it is exactly what that same company president had said in each of the previous five or six years…each time with the same result- roughly the same amount of sales as the year(s) before.  Are you surprised?

Activity Alleviates Anxiety

Filled with desire to achieve a new result, do you ever feel paralyzed & uncertain what to do?  Research indicates that learning occurs in four stages (Read:  Unconscious Competence- A Lesson From Sesame Street). To first learn a new skill, or achieve a new result, one must first take a new action to discover that you likely don’t know what you don’t know- and you need awareness to turn that newly discovered knowledge into action from which you can learn.  Once you took that first step, did the outcome bring you closer to or farther from your desired result?  Adjust. Try again.  It certainly beats the analysis paralysis which prevents so many people from experiencing a change in the outcome of their efforts.  Do something, even if it is wrong!

Where SHOULD You Focus?

target-2To achieve big results, you must have a vision.  To have a vision, you must allow yourself to detach from your past failures and engage with an image of what your new success looks or feels like.  Go ahead.  Get a vivid picture of success.  What would be different if you achieved success? How would it look? Feel? Smell?  What would people notice most about you?

Now, before you get overwhelmed with the natural feelings of “but I don’t know how to get there”, simply bask in that vision for a few minutes. Hey, take an hour!

Welcome back! Feels good, doesn’t it? Now, write down a list of new actions (short term) that would lead you closer to that vision becoming your reality.  Want a new job? Apply for a new one every day for a month. Want to lose those extra pounds you gained over the holidays…four years ago?  Decide to go for  a walk for 30 minutes every day.

Recent, widely-quoted research seems to suggest that mastery of a skill occurs once you have exercised that skill for 10,000 hours.  Becoming an “expert” is a  lofty goal. [For those counting at home that is spending 12 hours a day, every day, for 27 months; or by spending 30 minutes a day for nearly 55 years-if you have that kind of time.]  No matter your level of commitment each day, proficiency in any skill only comes from experience.  There are no shortcuts!

Focus on building new behaviors.  Experiment with new behaviors and identify the correlation with your vision. As you take more and more deliberate action in the correct direction, that vision will begin to come into focus.  Celebrate the small victories.  Track your progress toward the greater desired result.  Just don’t gauge how well you are doing with a pass/fail mentality.  Focus on moving yourself in the right direction.  The big, satisfying goal will just seem to “happen”.

ACTION:  Share a big goal publicly with others as a motivator to keep yourself accountable.  Take a minute and describe your big vision below.  Even if nobody reaches out to you to check your progress, YOU will remember it was posted here and the discomfort of complacency will encourage you to take action each day.

How To Make This Next Year All Yours

If you’re reading this article at the time of it’s original publication, then you know the new year is upon us.  The good news is, no matter WHEN you read this, your “next year” can start RIGHT NOW!

Three Basic Steps to Make This Next Year All Yours!


I don’t care what has happened to you up until this point.  You shouldn’t either. And the people who have not met you yet certainly only know what they will see as you go forward.What I mean to say is that it is helpful to be mindful of the past, but it is time to let it go.

Before you can take your next steps forward, you have to acknowledge, accept, and let go of the missteps in your past.  Most of them probably were not your fault, anyway.  For those that were, take the time to understand what happened, why it occurred, and consider how you might have handled each situation differently to re-direct the outcome towards something more favorable for you.


Wait…put down the gun!  That isn’t what I had in mind when I suggested you should do something different. This is the place where you give some serious thought to what you want, and how to get it. Here’s a checklist for you:

  • Honestly decide what you want your future to look like. How will it feel?  What will you do differently?  Who will you surround yourself with?  When will you turn those wishes into action?  Write this all down. You’re going to need it.
  • Set goals for yourself.  Using the information you wrote down in the step above, begin to assign some dates to items you want to do, achieve, or begin.
  • Take deliberate action.  HINT:  This is the step you have most likely skipped in the past.  For example: Do you want to bike your first century (100 mile) ride? Schedule one on the calendar, register for the ride online, then add your training rides to your actual calendar, so you can track your progress and preparation.  Or, perhaps you want a new job.  Schedule time each week to peruse job postings, work on your resume’, network with real people who work at the companies in which you are interested, and apply for a few new opportunities.


cc-Hard Rock GuitarIf you’ve done the work to honestly assess where you have been (how you got there) and identified where you are going (set a course shaped by new, deliberate action), then this part is easy.  Taking the steps to get out of the rut you are in so you can make this next year all yours is the hardest part.

Once you have created new habits, the fruits of those new habits will continue to creep into your life and the old, unfulfilled life you used to know will be long gone.  Before you know it, your life will be full of so much satisfaction, joy, happiness and accomplishment…the precise definition of an abundant life!

What is ONE BIG ITEM you will be working to achieve this next year? Share it below!

Are You More Than A Corporate Dominatrix?

Are You Guilty?

Leadership is a tricky subject.  Being a leader is often even more challenging.  Throughout history, leaders of lasting, continually successful efforts are great facilitators of ideas. However, when “senior leaders” take credit where NONE is due, the chances of them maintaining a lasting, genuine, productive relationship with their work groups becomes increasingly slim.

All to often, weak “leaders” will ask a question under the auspices of being a real question, only to interrupt the first participant in the room who speaks up as if the question was intended to be a rhetorical one with “an obvious answer” that only they could have foreseen.

At that point, the “facilitator” has poisoned the opportunity to build a sense of safety and belonging, in exchange for a short-term, self-ego-stroking, momentary act of domineering that rarely results an any resemblance of a “team”.

What kind of leader do you want to be: a facilitator or just a corporate dominatrix?  The choice is defined by your actions.


What is a #CONNECTip?

A #CONNECTip is a quick, hard-hitting concept to help you Create the Opportunity for  New Normal of Energetic, Collaborative Thinking for success!  Follow #CONNECTip on Twitter or add some of your own using the hash tag!

The Truth About Networking Connections

The value of your network is only as good as the relationships you have with the people in it.

Earlier this week, I saw YET ANOTHER friend of mine on national television. This time it was Shon Fuller, who is in a national ad for Wal-Mart.  Last season, another colleague of mine, Michael Dorsey, shared his very personal battle with weight loss as a member of the Blue Team on Season 14 of The Biggest Loser.

iStock_pen&nametagXSmallJust yesterday, I reconnected with an old friend I hadn’t seen since either of us had moved to Houston from Tulsa, Oklahoma…he moved here SIX YEARS AGO.  Finally, this morning, I ran across an article in CRM (Customer Relationship Management magazine) featuring Word of Mouse: 101+ Trends in How We Buy, Sell, Live, Learn, Work, and Play, the latest book by New York Times best-selling author, Mark Ostrofsky…who just happens to also be a member of my local chapter of the National Speakers Association for which I serve on the Board.  And it hit me….

I know a lot of people.  In fact, I am probably one of the people Malcom Gladwell was talking about when he discussed connectors in his popular book,  The Tipping Point: How Little Things Can Make a Big Difference.  Well, not specifically me, but people like me.  I’ve heard more than once that if “(I) am not the guy, then (I) am definitely the guy who KNOWS the guy”.  You can be “that guy/gal”, too, if you simply apply a little bit of effort and apply the truth about networking nobody wants you to know (but you should).

Here’s the Issue:

By the time you realize you might need to USE your network to help yourself, it is already too late to start building a relationship with them.  See if these sound familiar:

  • Remember that one person who hit you up on LinkedIn, has only 14 connections, you haven’t seen since junior high, and they just messaged you asking to help circulate their resume because they got fired…yesterday?  Loser! 
  • Being introduced to someone at a cocktail party who suddenly thinks you have just been on your first date, believes you are “the one” and suddenly you find yourself being introduced to their parents that same night? Run, Forest, Run! 
  • Or, my personal favorite, the friend you like to hang out with that is simply unable to just be your friend without trying to get you to sign up for “an amazing, ground-floor opportunity” with the latest MLM flavor of the month EVERY TIME THEY TALK TO YOU.  Sorry, man.  I love you, but dude, let’s just go get a beer, okay?

What to do:

Networking IS important.  And, yes, sometimes it would be prudent (even professionally respectful) to ask for some assistance with an issue your NBF (new best friend) happens to know something about.  Here is the truth about networking, on how to do it right and how to add VALUE to your connections:

  1. When sending a connection request on LinkedIn please STOP using the boring “I’d like to add you to my network on…blah blah blah”, canned message and give them a personalized request that references something you talked about when you met them.  Something like, “I like to stay connected with people who love fajitas and bicycles as much as I do. Let’s go for a ride sometime!”  They’ll “get it” when the auto-formatted message has a button at the bottom to “accept” your request…and they will REMEMBER how they felt about you when you met, realizing you had something in common.
  2. Get to know them first – See if you can set up a coffee, breakfast, or simply a quick call to meet with them and learn more about what THEY do.  Ask how you can help THEM expand their circles of influence, make a connection with someone in your network that would be interested in what they do, or just talk about coffee.  Seriously.  If you can resist the temptation to talk about business during your “get better acquainted meeting” eventually they will ask how they could help you—most likely increasing the chances they actually will!
  3. Keep in touch with them – Just because you met at a networking event seven years ago and haven’t spoken sense does not mean they will remember anything about you or why you even exchanged cards.  Once in a while, forward something to them that relates to their area of expertise and ask a question or simply say “I thought you might find this of interest.”  When you NEED that connection, it will already be deeper, even if they never respond to your messages.
  4. Remember that people inherently do want to help you – Just resist the urge to always be asking.  The fastest way to get a referral is to give one. Try it!

When your phone starts to ring IN with offers to help or a need for expertise, you will know all of that pre-work was worth the effort…especially when people begin to send personal referrals.

Who knows, someone will EVENTUALLY remember that I have a strong desire to host a game show and I will get the call. Until then, let’s chat about how I work with professionals like you who want to build lasting, profitable relationships with clients so they can live the life they deserve on their own terms!

Why Don’t People Answer Their Emails?

I know I didn’t email you back and I am not necessarily sorry.

Why you shouldn’t apologize, either!

How do you feel when someone you know tells you, “I’m not going to email you again, because you never reply to me, anyway”?  I would venture to guess it makes one feel like you have been sent to “time out”!  It does to me.

Recently, I have heard that from enough people to realize I may need to address the issue.  At least, that’s what I first thought.  And then I thought about it- see if this sounds familiar:

In recent history, have you:

  • Experienced population growth in your household?
  • Accepted a new job or role within your company?
  • Offered to serve in a leadership role of a volunteer organization?
  • Moved to a new city, state, or part of the country?
  • Taken up a new hobby you really enjoy?

Life-PrioritiesFor many people, simply adopting one of the above suggestions would be a “game changer” for your priorities.  The shift compounds exponentially when you take one two, three, or even ALL of the above.  It can be easy to feel overwhelmed. If I were to speculate as to what has “suffered” as a result of your new (and very productive, satisfying endeavors) becoming a significant part of your life, I might guess your email might not be as important as it once was, along with less time on social media, dealing less with OPD (other people’s drama), feeling sad or lonely, and generally feeling less satisfied with life.

When you make significant activity changes in your life and shift your focus to yourself, many benefits surface.  Most people report experiencing:

  • Better health
  • Stronger personal relationships
  • Feelings of gratitude
  • Increased satisfaction in the workplace, or even
  • The joy of becoming a parent for the first time.

Taking deliberate steps to improve your own life doesn’t mean you should ignore your responsibilities as a friend, co-worker, association member or neighbor….but it IS okay to enjoy the fruits of your decisions and shake off that guilt for not returning ALL of those emails as quickly as someone else thinks perhaps you should have. The CONNECTion you build as a result of living a happier, healthier, more fulfilling life will far outweigh responding to the demands of others.

However, ignoring ALL of those emails could be detrimental to your business, so be sure to carve out a little time for them…You just don’t have to apologize for taking a little longer to respond.

Get active.  Get healthy.  Do something you WANT to do.  Make good in the world.  CONNECT!


Dance Like Carlton Banks!

A Lesson In Professional Salesmanship from Carlton Banks

Who doesn’t love a great Happy Dance when you finally close the deal? I mean, it makes you want to twist…shout…knock yourself out to get that sale, doesn’t it? Well, sometimes.

I’m going to be honest. If you are in sales (HINT:  YOU ARE.) then actually getting a sale is part of the deal.  It is the price of admission.  It is what you are SUPPOSED to do.

When a player scores a touchdown, too often they act like they have never been to the end zone before.  Is scoring not what players are supposed  to do when they are on offense?  If anyone should do a touchdown dance, it should be a defensive player who pulls off the interception…THEN runs down the field to score.

If you are in sales and consider yourself a professional…when you get a sale- act like you have been there before.  One exception…if this is THE BIG DEAL you have worked painstakingly on for some time….May you dance like Carlton Banks (and may your boss react like the Fresh Prince of Bel Air)!